Love the Words

I am adding another blog to my repertoire. I am starting this blog, Love the Words, to share my love of books with others. I want to be able to share reviews about the books I read, and receive suggestions from my followers! I love reading and I can't wait to get started with this addition.I hope everyone that reads this blog will check it out! I am hoping to get a few posts about the Hunger Games series that I recently finished up this weekend. So look for that!

Need Degrees of Life Blog writers!!!

Listen I have this other blog with a bunch of great girls....

The Collab Blog: Degrees of Life

We are down at least one girl for the blog to work as we intended it to. So we are looking for applicants to fill that spot...this could become more than one spot. So....
What to do to join: Send us an e-mail at: degrees.of.life.blog@gmail.com Give us your name, blog address (if you have one) and a sample post (it doesn't have to be long at all) of this week's theme(s): Passion or Virginity or both.

If you don't have the time to join us you can still help out by being a follower and posting comments. You can even do a guest blog posting and e-mail it to us and we will feature you.

We are really passionate about this blog seeing at we are writers at heart. We look for all that would like to join. You don't have to be a writer. You don't have to be anything. Just be interested in being a part of this blog.

Again, thank you for everything. And we love all of you!
We hope to hear from you guys!

xoxo
Stephanie (http://edenkayeblog.blogspot.com/) & Tracey


Also, check out Stephanie's post. She includes a vlog about this very posting.

I had this awful moment last night.

I had worked until closing at my waitressing job. I got home and watched the Emmy Awards with my sister. Then it had happened.

I got my second wind.

I knew it at that point I was going to be up for another few hours, and I was going to get hungry.

Do you know that moment I am talking about? That moment when you realize, "I should have gone to sleep a long time ago because you had become hungry as if it was breakfast time already?"

It is a slippery slope. You can fight against the adrenaline you have when you get home, just go to sleep despite the desire to sit up and watch television or read or whatever until you get "sleepy." But it seems every single time I choose to do the opposite, ending in ... an undesirable hunger.

At that point, I never know what to do.  Should I go downstairs... brave the dark and get some food to subside  the empty stomach syndrome?  Or should I just ignore it and go to sleep? Well the latter never works and I don't have any sleeping pills on hand.

This is how the argument in my head always ends. Might as well go downstairs and get some food then.

Good News

The days of boredom and a million tweets during a single day are gone. I finally obtained a job. It is a part-time job at a local Italian pizza restaurant. But I find myself incredibly happy. I love the people I work with and the atmosphere around the restaurant. I don't want to get too comfortable. But, I also want to always find something to be happy about. My life is definitely not bad. I have nothing to be upset about right now. That is what I want to hang on to. My closest friends are fabulous. My family is amazing, no matter what happens in our household.  I could not ask for anything more. I find myself laughing a lot. This may not be a recent thing, but I did just get over a tiny little funk. So this is a little jump-start back into my optimistic attitude.

I am working on saving my money to be able to go to California to do a communications internship for a few months. I would like to be able to write and work with a creative, passionate, and motivated group of people. The people that work at Global Footprints Network seem to be just that. 

I feel as though there is so much more to my attitude today. I am not trying to have a serious tone right now. I have more of a gleeful and content attitude. 

What I really want to do is let go of my fears. Those fears that the people closest to me are going to suddenly get mad at me... Or that their love for me will just eventually fade and they will get tired of the mood swings I may have. 

What my best friend made me realize recently is that the people that love me may get annoyed by little things but that is part of why they love me. She told me not to think of our relationship like the other relationships I have had in the past... that she will always be there for me. She has told me this several times before. That is a big reason why I love her. She will get annoyed, but that still won't stop her from making sure she is always there for you.

Not to mention she has been going through a shit ton of stuff that no one should have to go through. She has been incredibly strong and through it reminded me of the girl she met all those years ago.

This is why I want to concentrate on what is really going on every single day. Is there anything to make me sad or really all that mad or scared? If not, then I want to be the person I have always been... the happy girl that just wants to laugh and enjoy the day.

Oh the comedies of the female life...

You know that feeling where you have no idea why you are sad? Why in the world do I want to cry about everything in the world? Why does everything piss me off for no reason? It's not like I am bleeding or anything. I was fine yesterday.

And then that moment of realization. Oh wait. I know what's happening.

You guessed it. That week before the monthly cycle that us women get. Yep, P.M.S.

My sister, our friend, and I were discussing this wonderment of our lives yesterday. We were talking about how even when you are on the pill and know when your period will be coming. Somehow we all forget when that actually will be coming.

So there is this mystery at the beginning of the PMS week. Everything is completely normal until that day when it starts. You are irrationally emotional about anything that comes in contact with you. I mean anything.

The dishes are lying out on the kitchen counter and you would like to chuck them at the walls because everyone left them for you to do. You take one little comment and turn it into an attack and immediately jump on the defensive of something that wasn't even be argued.

Haha it is so very funny in retrospect. But in the moment,  you are thinking... what the hell is wrong with me? Am I going nuts?

It takes you a while to remember and look at your pill packet to realize... oh yes, IT is coming. This is completely normal.

I can sort of understand why we drive men insane. I mean, I myself think I am insane at least one day every month depending on how long it takes me to figure out what is actually occurring.

Feel free to laugh at yourself when this happens to you. I mean, who minds getting a little bit of endorphins at the expense of thinking you're a little nutso for an hour or so.

Joke, Joke, Joke

Life sure is funny. You can be given a situation that you view as terrible, and then there it is... that silver lining. It is a blessing in disguise, in cliche speak.

Recently, I have gained a wonderful friend. This is not something I would expect to come out of a break-up with a shared ex-boyfriend. I didn't know her before I met him. I spoke to her a few times before I had moved out of his house. But after the break-up I decided to reach out to her in need of someone that understood to talk with. From that we discovered many shared interests. One of those things was our passion for writing and reading. Nothing could have been more of a blessing than that.

I delved back into writing on this here blog of mine. We began talking more and more, and during those talks we decided to start a group blog with five other girls from across the country. Through creating this blog, we just got closer and began talking a lot more. We have recently decided to combine our dreams for becoming authors and are collaborating on a novel. This past Wednesday, August 17th we were able to meet up downtown Chicago and hang out. It was a wonderful day, and it solidified what both of us have since said. We feel as though we are going to be lifelong besties.

Now we have MUCH more than just an ex-boyfriend in common. She  has been there for me and I hope I have been there for her.

So when I say, it is funny. It really is quite funny how you can meet some people. You've got to love the humor in life!

p.s.  I am so excited to begin writing this book!

I love feeling every muscle in my back... and arms... and legs... and chest... and abs work as I move.

(not me :P)

There is something amazing about the feeling you get when you are consistently working out your body. It doesn't really matter what work out it is, honestly. As you may know, I do an accelerated yoga workout combined with a 40 minute power walk with my dogs every day. But, it could very well just be having short walks every day or lifting a few weights for this matter.

I was simply walking up the stairs to my bedroom, and I could feel the muscles in my chest, back, and arms moving around as I did. It's funny how the act of taking care of your body can make you notice the intricacies of your body as a whole.

The way I noticed the muscles doing their beautiful dance about their places on my body was sort of poetic as it was happening. It was like the analogy of the blind person that can finally see. I for some reason was awakened to what my body does as it moves. It was a quite simple, yet beautiful thing.

I find it ironic that just as someone's simple day-to-day generous actions can go unnoticed or unacknowledged, just as easily the tiny things that our body does to move around or simply sit go pretty unnoticed to us most of the time.

Ah the simple beauties of life. The feeling I have in my body of having such strength is definitely corresponding to my feeling today of feeling strength within myself. I feel like I have grown so much with my inner strength lately. To any who understand: I feel  my lady balls expanding.

The Secret Life of the Unemployed Graduate

My younger sister (college graduate as of this May) and I (college graduate as of May 2009) are both recently unemployed. We spend most our days applying and hoping for a job to fill our time. However, the other day my sister tweeted something quite true: "Years ago I wished I was a cat because all day long they sleep and wander the house. Unfortunately my wish came true,except I'm not as cute." 

The life of the unemployed is always one you dream of, mostly, because usually it involves having large amounts of money. That is most definitely not the case here.  When you imagine your life not having to go to work everyday, lounging around, getting a tan, watching a million movies it usually DOES involve some time out of the house. Funny story... most things that people do outside of the house involve money. That leaves us at this very point in time. A slightly humorous, ultimately boring life to lead is that of the broke and unemployed.


It is quite lovely when you have an amazingly supportive and lovely family that will pay your student loan payments for you when you are not employed. That is one very happy note to make here. *Very Grateful*


moving on...


I thought I would recap a typical day in the life of a broke, unemployed gal such as myself. Now, this is not every day, just a normal day. So here goes:


1. Wake up around 9 or 10 a.m. depending on how late I was up the night before.
2. Check phone and return any texts received while asleep. *Text friends through out the entire day, but I am not going to note that a million times.
3. Make my way downstairs to make a healthy breakfast, typically eggs. 
4. Watch How I Met Your Mother with my sister until 11 a.m.
5. Go upstairs and do my accelerated yoga workout.
6. Put gym shoes on. Grab dog leashes and go outside to take my two dogs on a 40 minute long power walk-since I cannot run due to a back injury that gets inflamed. (To spice up my days and have a "project" I have been working on sticking in good physical shape with exercise and healthy eating.)
7. Check and make various updates to my interweb stuff. (Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, Pinterest, my group blog, this very blog, job listings and my email) *this step continues through out the day
8. Make myself a healthy lunch then shower
9. Watch television shows that I have DVR'd while doing step 7 and getting "ready for the rest of the day" *this usually lasts quite a while.
10. Check any stories about Chicago sports teams.
11. Bring the dogs in from their run and feed them.
12. IF I have a moment of creativity I will write during this time.
13. Make myself a healthy dinner.
14. Watch the Nightly News.
15. Do weird things, listen to sister's jokes, make weird noises, etc. because I am bored.
16. Step 7.
17. Get a little hungry and get some Skinny Cow candy bars. (DELICIOUS btw)
18. Goof around with my sister... watch television shows that I do not care about. ( If I watch shows that are being DVR'd it throws off the routine of the day for the next day)
19. Wash face, brush teeth,, make sure room is in order etc.
20. Step 7 plus mindless television watching or listening to music until I get tired. (If sleepiness becomes difficult then take a Tylenol PM)
21. Sleep.


So next time you think about how you'd like to be a cat. Read this routine and have a good laugh. 

Hidden Treasure

I have the privilege of being friends with an amazing jewelry designer. She is one of the "hidden treasures" as some would say. She has created a small business for herself on Etsy.com.  She makes a variety of accessories including; headbands, bracelets, rings,and necklaces. There are even some of her stuff that you can ask to be made custom to your liking.  I don't believe I have seen a piece in her collection that I don't like. She takes things from shells to stones to braided pieces of string and makes them all look like they were made to be her jewelry.

Some special pieces that I really love are these rings and necklace that are dedicated to the fight against breast cancer. 50% of the proceeds are donated to research for the fight.

I chose to buy this bracelet with different color beads.

There are also some really great necklaces. This one is one of my favorite pieces. The bracelet in the picture is also made by her.

So the thing to take away from this is: GO check out: Bashful Owl designs by Shannon

You definitely won't regret it. Or maybe you will when you buy every single thing on there because you can't choose just one. Either way I'd say it's a win situation.

Silent War

Hmmm those wonders...

I have always been one to convince myself that I don't like guys that are interested in me- the good guys. I run away immediately. When there is genuine feelings being expressed I chalk it up to me "not having the same feelings" for that person. Is this possibly self preservation? Possibly from the things I have seen- I tend to get too fearful of the good... because I figure it will go away?

The funny thing is that I remember being this way when I was very young too. I had this "boyfriend" when I was in fourth grade or so. He wrote me a letter once. He ended the letter with calling me a pet name like "sweet pea" or "pooky" or something of the sort. I freaked out. I remember the mess that was going on in my stomach to this day. I immediately thought this was not good and that I needed to not be with him anymore. I have no idea why this was my reaction at such a young age. It makes me laugh every time I think about it.

The thing that makes it so weird is that I have this same feeling every time someone that is not being a total creep or douchebag expresses some emotions towards me. This happened recently to me. Someone I know quite well expressed that they have been in love with me for a while.

I came to a point- as of late-where the last thing I want right now is to jump into another relationship. This was  before this person expressed these feelings.

Is this me self preserving again? Am I convincing myself I don't have feelings that I do? Or do I simply not feel the same?

Right now...I really don't want to run into the first person's arms that happen to come around. I don't want to make a mistake. I don't want to be seen as weak, I also don't want to be confused as to whether it is actually about the feelings I have for that person or rather the attention they are giving because I am alone.

I am completely humbled that this guy still wants to hear about my hurts even though it pains him to hear these things about another guy or whatever it may be. He still wants to be there for me. That is incredibly humbling. And I am not sure if that is really fair to him. I don't want to cause that sort of pain in someone else that I care for.

"I may be in love... But more importantly I chose to love... So when you need me I'll be there."

ahhh the silent wars we have within ourselves. It's a thinker.

peace and blessings all!

<3 trixierambler

A journey with a man inside a book

It is funny and enlightening when you come upon something in your day to day life that makes you change your mind completely. I have just recently read a book that changed my perspective on my faith significantly.
The Shack by Wm. Paul Young was an beautifully written book about a man whose daughter is abducted on a family vacation. It follows him through a trip back to the shack where investigators found her bloodied dress. In this book, he spends a weekend with God.

I have to admit that when the book was suggested to me the last thing I wanted to read about what a man who "spent a weekend with God" in a shack in the middle of nowhere. He is invited to this shack by God. As I began reading this beginning part of the book I became more and  more skeptical. I have not been having the best time with my faith. I have developed a lot of questions in my mind. I have become more and more confused about what I believe. I believed in a higher power, but I wasn't sure to what extent I believed in Him or it or whatever.  I have a lot of questions because of death, 'sins' dealing with homosexuality and the like, and to what extent our life is already decided for us. I thought a lot of things did not make sense.

For one thing I have from a very young age not know why people are taken from us. Why, if they are good people, would their lives end to early or be taken in a brutal force? It was all very confusing to me. After reading this book, however, it was explained in a way that I thought understandable. The writer explained it as God not trying to justify why the bad thing happens, but rather taking the thing that is bad (which is caused by evil stemming from free will God gives us) and redeeming it with something good in the end. It is so that basically God does not "let" this bad thing happen.

I also saw this quote in the book about our pain that come from such bad things: "Don't forget that in the midst of all your pain and heartache, you are surrounded by beauty, the wonder of creation, art your music and culture, the sounds of laughter and love, of whispered hopes and celebrations, of new life and transformation, of reconciliation and forgiveness. These also are the results of your choices, and every choice matters, even the hidden ones."

I have also never understood things about sinning. How can we possibly follow these ancient commandments in a world such as this, being human nonetheless? It is impossible.If you do these things, are you immediately sentenced to an eternity in hell if you don't change your ways (such as being homosexual-- my aunt and  uncle are both homosexual and this topic has always affected me)? There were several things said about Christians and the church and how they have clung to these rules and granted themselves the right to judge everyone else. I hate how me being Christian makes me assumed to be like this... or to be no fun... or weak because my belief in such a thing bring me great comfort and peace. I found this part in the book that explains in several places about what can be said about this subject: "Enforcing rules, especially in more subtle expressions like responsibility and expectation, is a vain attempt to create certainty out of uncertainty. And contrary to what you might think, I have a great fondness for uncertainty. Rules cannot bring freedom; they have only the power to accuse."

"Religion must use law to empower itself and control the people needed in order to survive. I give you an ability to respond and your response is to be free to love and serve in every situation, and therefore each moment is different and unique and wonderful. Because I am your ability to respond, I have to be present in you. If I simply gave you a responsibility, I would not have to be with you at all. It would now be a task to perform, an obligation to be met, something to fail."

"Let's use the example of friendship and how removing the element of life from a noun can drastically alter a relationship. Mack, if you and I are friends, there is an expectancy that exists within our relationship. When we see each other or are apart, there is an expectancy of being together, of laughing and talking. That expectancy has no concrete definition; it is alive and dynamic and everything that emerges from our being together is a unique gift shared by no one else. But what happens if I change that expectancy to and expectation -- spoken or unspoken? Suddenly, law has entered into our relationship. You are now expected to perform in a way that meets my expectations. Our living friendship rapidly deteriorates into a dead thing with rules and requirements. It is no longer about you and me, but about what friends are supposed to do, or the responsibilities of a good friend."

Overall, my thought on my faith have become a little less complicated after reading this book. I really enjoyed it. I felt as though I was going through the journey that this man was going through along with him. It was, in way, slightly emotional for me.

I highly recommend it for anyone that was in the position that I was while reading it.

Other quotes from the book that I found intriguing:

"Each relationship between two persons is absolutely unique. That is why you cannot love two people the same. It simply is not possible. You love each person differently because of who they are and the uniqueness that they draw out of you. And the more you know another, the richer the colors of that relationship."

"Don't ever discount the wonder of your tears. They can be healing waters and a stream of joy. Sometimes they are the best words the heart can speak."

"If anything matters then everything matters. Because you are important, everything you do is important. Every time you forgive, the universe changes; every time you reach out and touch a heart or a life the world changes; with every kindness and service, seen or unseen, my purposes are accomplished and nothing will ever be the same again."

"I am a verb. I am that I am. I will be who I will be. I am a verb. I am alive, dynamic, ever active, and moving. I am a being verb."

"Nouns exist because there is a created universe and physical reality, but if the universe is only a mass of nouns, it is dead. Unless 'I am,' there are no verbs, and verbs are what makes the universe alive."

"The Bible doesn't teach you to follow rules. It is a picture of Jesus. While words may tell you what God is like and even what he may want from you, you cannot do any of it on your own"

"It is not the nature of love to force a relationship, but it is the nature of love to open the way."

"You demand your independence but then complain that I actually love you enough to give it to you."

"If I take away the consequences of people's choices, I destroy the possibility of love. Love that is forced is not love at all."

"Just because you make horrendous and destructive choices does not mean you deserve less respect for what you inherently are-- the pinnacles of my creation and the center of my affection."

"The person who lives by his fears will not find freedom in my love."

"Grace doesn't depend on suffering to exist, but where there is suffering you will find grace in many facets and colors."

"Emotions are the colors of the soul-- they are spectacular and incredible. When you don't feel, the world becomes dull and colorless."

Peace all!

The dork inside

I have a huge dorky side to my personality. One thing lately that I have been so freaking excited for is the premiere of the last Harry Potter film: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows pt.2. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone was the first book that actually got me into reading. This is a very big part of my heart. I love reading. It is inspiring for my writings. It lets you escape to a different world and experience all different types of things no matter how ridiculous they be. I love words beyond measure. I love seeing how different authors can put them together in such a way that makes them incredibly beautiful. Books can make you feel when you don't feel anything else. I could go on and on and on.  In short, Harry Potter is part of how I found my love of reading and, therefore, also my love of writing. It started in grade school and lasted me through the beginning of college. I grew up with these books. There is a certain sort of attachment that goes along with them in my heart. This movie, as dramatic as this sounds, feels like the end of my childhood. It is bittersweet to say the least.

But let me tell you, I am geeking out over here waiting for midnight tonight.  I love little obsessions like this. I don't care that it makes me sorta look like a dork. It doesn't matter. LOL It's all fun.

Enjoy your guilty obsessions all!

Reading and Writing

Someone shared these writings with me and I absolutely love them. These are two things that make up part of me! The writings are amazing. Love the girls with hearts to read and write! I will let the words speak for themselves. So here they are:

Be A Girl Who Reads

Monica Bird

Be a girl who reads. Be the girl who finds enjoyment in the written word, delights at the thoughts she finds, marvels in the plots and characters.

Read often, and read everything. Have an endless curiosity about the world and those who live in it. Discover new cultures and places; expand your mind beyond your own country and your own life.

Find new authors and new books every day. Compile an ever-growing list of printed materials to read. Browse the stacks of bookstores and libraries; get lost in their mighty labyrinths.

Embrace the popular and the obscure; realize that you need not be confined by genres or labels. Whether they are biography, memoir, fiction, non-fiction …all have a place upon the bookshelf of your mind.

Keep childhood favorites sacred. Never forget the moment you received your first library card, your first book of your own. Remember fondly reading events at school and how excited you were that books were given out for free. Recall how grateful you were, for your favorite book was already worn, pages dirtied, and cover torn by your constant reading.

Recall your first trip to the library, when you wondered how many books you could read in a lifetime and felt utterly certain that the library contained a multitude of treasures.

Bring a book with you wherever you go. Embrace purses and bags, not for their feminine qualities, but because they enable you to carry more books and keep them hidden. Less fights with your parents about bringing books to family reunions, easier to sneak books into classes; become known as ‘the girl with a book’.

Be passionate about books, the ones you love and the ones you don’t. Have opinions. Find other readers and discuss. Share your experiences and thoughts about why thisbook. Defend banned and controversial books. Understand that people have the right to decide what to read for themselves.

Realize that everyone has their own tastes, their own reading preferences. Suggest books freely but do not be upset when turned down. Remember that we approach books when we are ready for them. The stories are patient. They will wait for us.

Attempt the classics; succeed and fail. Tolkien and C.S. Lewis will be incredible, Les Miserables will be daunting, and Edith Wharton will enrage you. Move on, find other authors. Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett are happy to have you in their readership.

Read the popular titles. Fall in love with Harry Potter, restrain yourself from throwing Twilight . Remember Ranganathan, ‘every reader his or her book’ and ‘for every book its reader’. There are endless possibilities. You’ll find the ones you love.

Be a reader, and be yourself. Don’t waste time on books you don’t enjoy. Don’t convince yourself that there are books you must love. Remember, always, this very simple rule:

When in doubt, ask a librarian.

You should date an illiterate girl.

Charles Warnke

Date a girl who doesn’t read. Find her in the weary squalor of a Midwestern bar. Find her in the smoke, drunken sweat, and varicolored light of an upscale nightclub. Wherever you find her, find her smiling. Make sure that it lingers when the people that are talking to her look away. Engage her with unsentimental trivialities. Use pick-up lines and laugh inwardly. Take her outside when the night overstays its welcome. Ignore the palpable weight of fatigue. Kiss her in the rain under the weak glow of a streetlamp because you’ve seen it in a film. Remark at its lack of significance. Take her to your apartment. Dispatch with making love. Fuck her.

Let the anxious contract you’ve unwittingly written evolve slowly and uncomfortably into a relationship. Find shared interests and common ground like sushi and folk music. Build an impenetrable bastion upon that ground. Make it sacred. Retreat into it every time the air gets stale or the evenings too long. Talk about nothing of significance. Do little thinking. Let the months pass unnoticed. Ask her to move in. Let her decorate. Get into fights about inconsequential things like how the fucking shower curtain needs to be closed so that it doesn’t fucking collect mold. Let a year pass unnoticed. Begin to notice.

Figure that you should probably get married because you will have wasted a lot of time otherwise. Take her to dinner on the forty-fifth floor at a restaurant far beyond your means. Make sure there is a beautiful view of the city. Sheepishly ask a waiter to bring her a glass of champagne with a modest ring in it. When she notices, propose to her with all of the enthusiasm and sincerity you can muster. Do not be overly concerned if you feel your heart leap through a pane of sheet glass. For that matter, do not be overly concerned if you cannot feel it at all. If there is applause, let it stagnate. If she cries, smile as if you’ve never been happier. If she doesn’t, smile all the same.

Let the years pass unnoticed. Get a career, not a job. Buy a house. Have two striking children. Try to raise them well. Fail frequently. Lapse into a bored indifference. Lapse into an indifferent sadness. Have a mid-life crisis. Grow old. Wonder at your lack of achievement. Feel sometimes contented, but mostly vacant and ethereal. Feel, during walks, as if you might never return or as if you might blow away on the wind. Contract a terminal illness. Die, but only after you observe that the girl who didn’t read never made your heart oscillate with any significant passion, that no one will write the story of your lives, and that she will die, too, with only a mild and tempered regret that nothing ever came of her capacity to love.

Do those things, god damnit, because nothing sucks worse than a girl who reads. Do it, I say, because a life in purgatory is better than a life in hell. Do it, because a girl who reads possesses a vocabulary that can describe that amorphous discontent of a life unfulfilled—a vocabulary that parses the innate beauty of the world and makes it an accessible necessity instead of an alien wonder. A girl who reads lays claim to a vocabulary that distinguishes between the specious and soulless rhetoric of someone who cannot love her, and the inarticulate desperation of someone who loves her too much. A vocabulary, goddamnit, that makes my vacuous sophistry a cheap trick.

Do it, because a girl who reads understands syntax. Literature has taught her that moments of tenderness come in sporadic but knowable intervals. A girl who reads knows that life is not planar; she knows, and rightly demands, that the ebb comes along with the flow of disappointment. A girl who has read up on her syntax senses the irregular pauses—the hesitation of breath—endemic to a lie. A girl who reads perceives the difference between a parenthetical moment of anger and the entrenched habits of someone whose bitter cynicism will run on, run on well past any point of reason, or purpose, run on far after she has packed a suitcase and said a reluctant goodbye and she has decided that I am an ellipsis and not a period and run on and run on. Syntax that knows the rhythm and cadence of a life well lived.

Date a girl who doesn’t read because the girl who reads knows the importance of plot. She can trace out the demarcations of a prologue and the sharp ridges of a climax. She feels them in her skin. The girl who reads will be patient with an intermission and expedite a denouement. But of all things, the girl who reads knows most the ineluctable significance of an end. She is comfortable with them. She has bid farewell to a thousand heroes with only a twinge of sadness.

Don’t date a girl who reads because girls who read are storytellers. You with the Joyce, you with the Nabokov, you with the Woolf. You there in the library, on the platform of the metro, you in the corner of the café, you in the window of your room. You, who make my life so goddamned difficult. The girl who reads has spun out the account of her life and it is bursting with meaning. She insists that her narratives are rich, her supporting cast colorful, and her typeface bold. You, the girl who reads, make me want to be everything that I am not. But I am weak and I will fail you, because you have dreamed, properly, of someone who is better than I am. You will not accept the life of which I spoke at the beginning of this piece. You will accept nothing less than passion, and perfection, and a life worthy of being told. So out with you, girl who reads. Take the next southbound train and take your Hemingway with you. Or, perhaps, stay and save my life.

Date A Girl Who Reads

Rosemarie Urquico

Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.

Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag.She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow.

She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.

Buy her another cup of coffee.

Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent.  Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.

It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.

She has to give it a shot somehow.

Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.

Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.

Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilight series.

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.

You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.

You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

Or better yet, date a girl who writes.

Date a Girl Who Writes

Effie Sapuridis

Date a girl who writes. Date a girl who admires the calligraphy of Ancient China more than the latest fall line. She has ink smudges on her fingers, sometimes on her cheeks. Date a girl who comes with a list of unfinished poems, underdeveloped characters, incomplete plot lines, who has been writing since she could read.

Find a girl who writes. Look for the girl with frazzled hair and a pen behind her ear. She’s the one who spends hours deciding which new notebook to buy, only to cave and buy three, the one who rarely makes a grammatical error. If you were to search her bag, you’d find scraps of paper with incomprehensible notes and pens whose lives have ended a long time ago. That’s the writer.

The girl who writes can be seen anywhere, if you look for her. The girl who writes is always looking at you, and anyone else. She knows inspiration can be found in everything. She’s the girl you’ll find on a park bench, pen behind her ear, another in her hand, jotting down things with great, great concentration, just because coffee shops are loud. She will however be carrying coffee in a travel mug. If you looked inside the mug, you’d notice the coffee was finished – the girl who writes needs caffeine like water. Bum a cigarette off her. Notice her eyes give you a full appraisal before she hands you a cigarette. She’s profiling you.

Say something.

Don’t ever start by asking to see her writing.

Tell her something you’re sure she never knew before. A random fact, even. This will grab her attention. This will make her think, ‘what kind of plot twist is the stranger offering to the protagonist?’ When she brings up e.e. Cummings and Plath, don’t act like you know who they are if you don’t. She will test you. Ask her about them. Ask her about her favorites. Ask her if she’d like to go see a movie with you.

Always surprise her.

In reality, it’s not that difficult to date a girl who writes. Accept that she will not show you anything she’s written until she’s ready. Understand that sometimes her stories aren’t developing the way she wants and she will be angry, bitter. Be patient, be jealous of her love for worlds you can’t even begin to enter. Buy her new books, new pens, new notebooks. Surround her with words. Dedicate songs to her. Leave little notes in her lunch bag. Words, for the writer, are more intimate and personal than a sensual touch. She hears their whispers, feels them, embraces them.

If one day, you walk into the house, and she’s in a foul mood. There are pages scattered everywhere. She’s watching TV, which she never does. Don’t ask. The words got the best of her. They put up a wall and as much as she pleaded, as much as she paced, drank coffee, took a bath, went for a walk, pace some more, as much as she played with synonyms and antonyms, made comparisons, expanded the plotline then brought it back to where it was, she could not get through the block. Don’t bother comforting her. Buy paint and a canvas, let her attack it. Carry her to the bed and let her attack you. The girl who writes does not need soothing and comfort, she needs an outlet to rid herself of the overbearing emotions that are sadness or anger. Before she can write again.

The girl who writes knows exactly when a break is needed in a story. The girl who writes expects a climax. But the girl who writes is also almost never in control of her story. The characters dictate to her what they would like to do next. The story is as thrilling for her, the writer, as it is for her close sister, the reader. She relishes in these surprises, in these sharp turns, in these unforgiving assesments. She dreams of the day when her story, her life story, will be as classic as Poe or as tormented as Brite. This day that she waits for, this will be the day her story will begin.

On the day when she timidly, a deep blush rising on her cheeks, extends a bundle of loose sheets of paper, some old, some new, towards you, you’ll know you’ve successfully captured the heart of the girl who writes. Read everything she has given you, unless she stops you. Recognize, and tell her, about the beauty of her words, the conviction of her prose, the pain behind her poetry. Don’t look at her with pity when she hands you a poem about a broken heart – following it, you’ll read one about you and how maybe her heart was not so broken after all. In any case, the girl who writes does not accept pity. She is the amazon goddess of the writing world. She is the soldier, the fighter, the good guy. She is stronger than a house of bricks and her writing keeps her demons in place, holding them down and releasing her.

Date a girl who writes because she will change your world. She will bring color into your grays. When you propose, she will have known for months that it was coming. She could read your body language from miles away. She will say the simplest phrase you have ever heard her say – yes, I do – and then she will begin to carefully craft the story of your lives. Through ups and downs and births and deaths, through funny family moments and trips to unknown places (in search of new inspiration), through misadventures and inky cheeks, through everything, anything, and all that is not yet written, the girl who writes will be the doe-eyed, love-struck narrator of the story and you, her forever after knight in shining armor.

Peace and Confidence= a yummy breakfast

"Taste this peace. It'll make you weak in the knees." - Trevor Hall

In my last post I commented on how I have been doing yoga religiously lately. I was talking about how that definitely helps me to start each day fresh, unaffected by any troubles that may have happened the day before. I don't take this lightly.  I am the type of person that has a hard time letting things go. Things tend to invade my mind and not go away. It affects me greatly especially with my anxiety issues.

I have gone through a bit of a rough patch in the past couple months. I realized lately that it was important to take care of myself... body, mind, and soul. I had gotten to a place where I generally liked myself and was happy with my decisions. Although, thoughts of the past were still gnawing at me and creating anxiety whenever my mind would rest on them (which was quite often due to my inability to let it go). So when I was first going through this period I decided to start going on hour long walks with my sister. It was helping me feel physically healthy. I began to start eating healthy foods, not junk-filled crap, things with actual nutritional value. I got up every morning and put some breakfast in my body.  It was part of step one. I didn't know it though.

So about a month ago I decided I really like this feeling of working on myself. My next decision was to add in some yoga. I started with the intermediate workout because I had done some yoga before this. As of a couple weeks ago, I have worked up to the advanced yoga workout. I get up every morning, eat some breakfast, and start my yoga workout. After that I always go on a half hour jog/walk with my music blaring. As of late I have been only listening to Trevor Hall. He is one of my very favorite artists. His voice is probably one of the most calming voices I have ever heard. He brings such joy of life to his music. When I am listening to him I am full of happiness.

Let me tell you, I feel changed lately. I feel so excellent about myself and life in general. I have always been able to get myself out of the darkest of holes with my strong mind and a some prayer.

 I always tell the guy friends that tend to slip away and come back and want to protect me...They want me to not make mistakes... I always tell them that I don't need to be taken care of... I have never and will never NEED another person. I may want them in my life because I care for them so deeply such as friends, a boyfriend, or my family. But never will I need someone. I take pride in the fact that I am not dependent on others to get through. Although I must say friends throughout my life have always been an amazing help! They have always been there to listen when I needed to talk it through. The friends I have are ones I can always count on that is for sure. I cannot imagine my life without certain friends that have been there through the darkest of moments that I have had.

Lately, mixing my faith in God and my yoga practices I have never been so at peace with life and its ups and downs. I accept what has happened. I don't regret. Never regret. The things that have affected you make you who you are and that is something to accept, I think. I am not dwelling. I may think about it randomly. But in those moments... I just let the moment have its time and then I move on. There is no reason for those things to have an effect on the happiness I feel now.  I have realized this is my life to live. I am in charge of my outlook.

Simply, there are things in this life that we cannot control. It is how we handle them that shows us our character. There is no reason to question whether or not we are a good person or not. Every single one of us has our flaws. We may as well accept them and be aware of them. That is the best that anyone can do.  I have recently had such moments of clarity. I realize that no matter that I don't have a job or money. I do have a family and friends whom I love. I have my writing to focus on. I can let my dreams flow because how can we get anywhere with out those silly dreams?!

I just feel like there is just so much to be thankful for. I have re-realized my passions. I have a passion for social justice and people and animals and words and on and on. Why not live everyday for those things you love? There may be things  during the day that make it not so pleasant. But lately, I have learned to accept it and move on to something else.

I have learned how much I LOVE who I am. I love my quirks. I love how nerdy and weird I can be. I love my passionate nature.

Through yoga and working out and listening to music, I have become so content. I am moving from moment to moment, letting life wash over me like a wave. It is a crazy ride but it sure can be exhilarating and fun. You just got to go with the flow. Let's not try to plan it all. Let's not try to figure it all out. Just experience it.

. I am definitely open to what life may bring me. I have come to a place where I just do not want to figure it out. It will be "figured out" in the right amount of time. There is nothing about life that needs to be rushed.

Yoga has definitely done wonders for my life with the help of various other little things. I recommend it to anyone with anxiety for sure. Listen to some Trevor Hall today. Go for a walk. Enjoy the calm quiet of that time when you are falling asleep.

P.S. One thing I have discovered is the short amount of time it takes me to bounce back. I am just so happy. I feel as strong as an Amazon.

Love the life you live and live the life you love. :)

Peace and Blessings

Reality

I have been wanting to post about this all week. Then something else comes up and it gets forgotten.

I am back living in Hometown. I wake up at 11, as usual. I dawdle around. My boyfriend and I make lunch. We get ready for work. Then we spiral into another argument because I asked if he was going to be coming home after work or go out with his friend, Brian. I talk, he walks away. I am too controlling. Why would I need to know something like that? Because..."It's not like we're married."

Annnnd.... I wake up.

 Yes, this was a dream. NO I absolutely do NOT live in Hometown anymore. But I awoke in a very angry state. That feeling decided to linger as my morning progressed, and then as I moved into the afternoon. That got me thinking. How does one shake those dreams that seem like reality? I know it always seems so easy to tell oneself that it was just a dream. But when those dreams so very real that when you awake it is as if it really happened, it is quite hard to shake I have found.

The dream that I described was in fact one that I had a few weeks ago. The stumper to this was that it was actually a fight that we had had at one point towards the end of our relationship. So it was like I was reliving it and waking up in the middle of a messy relationship again. I hope you can see why that would be rather upsetting.

Although, I have taken up an activity that I once enjoyed frequently again. I now do yoga everyday after I eat breakfast. I have to say it is probably the best thing anyone could do to start their day... or, if I think about it, to end their day. It really helps me forget about the negative opinions and happenings around me and just start fresh each day. I have felt a weight lifted. I am much more chill and at peace with things. I definitely don't think that the anger from that dream would have lasted very long if I had done yoga that morning.

I was just curious does anyone else's moods get affected by any dreams you have?

Peace and blessings all!

News Feed, Status Update, New Notification!

Notice me! Notice ME! NOTICE ME!

Get Angry please! Read my words. I hope they hurt you. But I am not directly telling you. So it isn't like I am being mean.

~~~~~~
I was having a conversation with my friend who lives in South Dakota the other day. (I live in Northern Illinois by the way. I am about and hour and a half from Chicago.) We were discussing some away statuses and tweets and Facebook statuses that we had seen recently.

I think it is really humorous how people will passive agressively put their opinions or emotions out there. For example when they are upset about what someone did to them... they say: Some people are so stupid blah blah blah. As if that person isn't going to notice. It is like an extra little job in arguments now. Before there was just texting or letters, so on and so forth. But now with us being the social media generation people will decide to use it to their "advantage," I guess.

I don't really understand why. Does it make one feel a little better about themselves because they don't have to see the reaction and they know it will bother the other person? I am not too sure.

But then there is this other part to it. I was talking to this friend of mine specifically about how a certain ex of mine has tweeted about how he has this new girl he was talking to 3 weeks after our break-up. So I blocked him on Twitter. Then because we were no longer friends on Facebook, he started using his AOL instant messenger statuses to show me that he was "happy" and had a second job... and the car that we were saving for together... and blah blah blah. Then once I deleted him on there. He resorted to writing on his sister's status that he was excited for her to me his new girl. Really?

I don't really get why people have to jab like that in public. I mean it is jabbing right? I really think it is. Out of respect I think there would be less of that. That may just be my opinion.

It is silly to me... when people are fighting or upset about something and they make a status that is kind of hidden under a blanket as to what it means. It is just annoying. Just deal with it with that person. Don't tell everyone in the world you are upset just because you don't want to actually have to have some balls and say it to the person.

I viewed these statuses and notes and things that my ex was doing as ways to get to me to show that he was okay without me...that he was happy and better off. Which is fine because I WAS the one to leave, and I am definitely okay and better off as well. But, the difference is... I am not jumping into another person's arms just to make me feel better and I am not posting my feelings everywhere. Just in my blog. Which.... to that I would say: That is my writing... my writing is me... and I don't want to hold back. It isn't posted on everyone's facebook for the world to see. It is for people that are interested in hearing my thoughts and words.

This conversation was just a funny interesting one to have. We were laughing together thinking how it was just so silly to cause more drama. It really is all it is.. even though the people that do it say they weren't meaning it that way.

OHHH Hahahaha, LOL, LMAO, ROFL. :P

The things some may do for attention.

How about this? Just one little suggestion... really tiny, I promise. Why don't you just let your real interactions and words and such speak about your personality? Why don't you let those actions and words and relationships prove that you are worth it? Let them possibly show how happy you are?

Just a little meaningless....Random Rambling for the day.

Peace and Blessings all!

A romantic gesture

July 3rd, 2011--

Today some friends and I decided to spend the night hanging out around Lake Geneva, Wisconsin. We ended up watching fireworks and such that were going off around the lake. My friends and I started walking away from the beach towards our car. We were stopped by a man with his wife. He handed us a paper lantern. He then explained  that it was his wife's birthday and she had always wanted to see Chinese wishing lanterns take off in a group. So he bought a box of them on E-bay for a pretty good price apparently, and took her out by the lake. He was then was stopping passersby to open one up and put it together. He then asked that we all wait to light them together. Everyone lit the wax on the bottom of the lanterns and let them go. It was a beautiful sight to see-- a bunch of brightly colored paper lanterns lit up with a flame int he middle floating into the sky.  What a wonderful birthday gift for that woman! Everyone also began to sing for her after we were done. Such a fun, random night by the lake. :)


I was able to capture some pictures with the camera on my phone: