I had this awful moment last night.

I had worked until closing at my waitressing job. I got home and watched the Emmy Awards with my sister. Then it had happened.

I got my second wind.

I knew it at that point I was going to be up for another few hours, and I was going to get hungry.

Do you know that moment I am talking about? That moment when you realize, "I should have gone to sleep a long time ago because you had become hungry as if it was breakfast time already?"

It is a slippery slope. You can fight against the adrenaline you have when you get home, just go to sleep despite the desire to sit up and watch television or read or whatever until you get "sleepy." But it seems every single time I choose to do the opposite, ending in ... an undesirable hunger.

At that point, I never know what to do.  Should I go downstairs... brave the dark and get some food to subside  the empty stomach syndrome?  Or should I just ignore it and go to sleep? Well the latter never works and I don't have any sleeping pills on hand.

This is how the argument in my head always ends. Might as well go downstairs and get some food then.

Good News

The days of boredom and a million tweets during a single day are gone. I finally obtained a job. It is a part-time job at a local Italian pizza restaurant. But I find myself incredibly happy. I love the people I work with and the atmosphere around the restaurant. I don't want to get too comfortable. But, I also want to always find something to be happy about. My life is definitely not bad. I have nothing to be upset about right now. That is what I want to hang on to. My closest friends are fabulous. My family is amazing, no matter what happens in our household.  I could not ask for anything more. I find myself laughing a lot. This may not be a recent thing, but I did just get over a tiny little funk. So this is a little jump-start back into my optimistic attitude.

I am working on saving my money to be able to go to California to do a communications internship for a few months. I would like to be able to write and work with a creative, passionate, and motivated group of people. The people that work at Global Footprints Network seem to be just that. 

I feel as though there is so much more to my attitude today. I am not trying to have a serious tone right now. I have more of a gleeful and content attitude. 

What I really want to do is let go of my fears. Those fears that the people closest to me are going to suddenly get mad at me... Or that their love for me will just eventually fade and they will get tired of the mood swings I may have. 

What my best friend made me realize recently is that the people that love me may get annoyed by little things but that is part of why they love me. She told me not to think of our relationship like the other relationships I have had in the past... that she will always be there for me. She has told me this several times before. That is a big reason why I love her. She will get annoyed, but that still won't stop her from making sure she is always there for you.

Not to mention she has been going through a shit ton of stuff that no one should have to go through. She has been incredibly strong and through it reminded me of the girl she met all those years ago.

This is why I want to concentrate on what is really going on every single day. Is there anything to make me sad or really all that mad or scared? If not, then I want to be the person I have always been... the happy girl that just wants to laugh and enjoy the day.