Change

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together." 
— Marilyn Monroe

I was talking to my little sister today while she was unpacking her stuff from college. She just graduated and is moving back home. While she was doing this, she sat down to think for a second and began to cry. I was a little surprised because my sister is not one to cry. I am. I asked what about she was crying. She tried to explain to me, in little bursts of words between sobs, that she was having a hard time saying goodbye to her college years. She didn't want to leave the friends and memories she had gathered through the years. There would be nothing to look forward to and now her life would be about work and nothing else.

Change causes such weird emotions in people. Losing someone you love, ending a phase in your life; these things tend to make us go into some sort of shock. We don't act like ourselves. Some of the changes actually cause changes in ourselves.

Recently, I have been experiencing some changes as well. My relationship with my boyfriend crumbled after I moved in with his father and him. This was after I had been forced to leave my part-time job due to lack of transportation. Therefore, I am back where I had started without the relationship that was getting me through that rough time.

Now I am coming to grips with the fact that this is one of those times where it happens for a reason. The relationship wasn't good for either of us. We both need to work on our lives separately. Not that there is something wrong with either of us.

The good thing about this time is the independent, confident person I once was is coming back to life. I am excited about making these CHANGES to my life. I get to decide where I should go from here for myself. I have a few options for this time in my life.

I love options. I could go and take and internship with the writing/communications department of an environmental group in California called Global Footprints. I could stay in the Chicago area and be near my older sister and her new twin boys. I could move to Sioux Falls, South Dakota where one of my best friends in the world lives and thinks I can get a job with Wells Fargo.

Yes, change does hurt. Change makes you re-think. Change makes you change. But it is the only way to move from one point of your life to the other. I will continue to be sad for a while I am sure, as will my sister. It is not my strong suit to let go of things or, more particularly, people.  But the best feeling that comes from change is the acceptance of the change. I can say I am getting there, and so will my sister.